magically, it didnt leave any bruises!

today is the second time I take part in Wardhana's softball practice after my failure joining Niskayuna's softball squad which you might realize how strong american girls are compare to me-- a little weak Indonesian girl. the practice i can say a bit boring since i joined the softball trial in Niskayuna HS which a bit frustrating. we throw ball we pass ball. that's all. nothing really pressing my mind other than running along jogging track in campus. pretty tiring actually. next on...

here with 5 other girls who join the team, we were trained to throw and catch the ball in some position. once, Joly, my teammate threw the ball up high and pretty fast. i thought i can catch the ball. but God said different. that ball hit me right on my forehead. yes the ball, the softball. my body was like get push backward and almost fell. it felt alright and not hurt. only a couple dizziness i had to feel and it didn't leave any bruises!

wohooo!

well at the very first time i know that my math class is gonna learn about diferential or whatsoever, all i can say is , NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! let's see i got 65 in my very first time in math quiz, and you know what?? my friends mostly got 90s for theirs. and bad thing. i thought i'm just bad at math but i must to tell you that i just got 70 for my chem quiz for the first time since i'm back from the united states . well, my friends might think that i'm so good at all subjects, moreover i just came back from the United States, i know that they think it might be difficult to study abroad. but noooo it's not like that. indonesia education is way too difficult than other countries!!!

H-2

last night i had party going on in my house. some people came. i was so glad to meet them after two weeks off from school. but still there is a lil bit sadness from the deepest of my heart. first, I'm gonna leave soon. second, my very best friend couldn't make my party. but overall, that was so much fun. presents, laughter, stories, all the things were just to make me so happy. i couldn't tell how happy i was. i really miss them right now. tomoro, i am planning to hang out with Sarah. i hope we both can make it since it will be last day i will spend with my family, and also not much time left to do something. other than that, Cherice wanna make something special for me. i don't know what. but i hope i could make it to her house. for three different people in a day. i don't know how to spare my time with them in my very last day in the United States. 24 hours. not much.
i still remember how tons of my friends count days in the 100 last days. 3 months. until i realize that actually I'm gonna leave in less than 3 days. 3 months, 3 weeks, then 3 days. and maybe 3 hours? even 3 minutes before i get in to the bus which take me to JFK in Long Island.
today, i spent my time with very good friend of mine. she is so sweet. today i try to make my face happy in front of a lot of people, including her. she might feel the same. pretending to be happy in every person we meet. idk, it just makes my stomach hurts, my heart beats faster, and kinda makes my mind dizzy. you know what? i am already home. i don't have to go home, because i already am. home? what home?
maybe i don't know how to tell my exact feeling right now. just between happiness and sadness. mix in one place. maybe the good thing to express it is just tears. it could be happy or sad. bad thing, i can't cry in front of people. i might just cry in the deepest of my heart. bad thing, i can't tell people how much i love them. and bad thing, i can't tell people that i cry out loud in the deepest of my heart.

thank you good people, you make my day full of color. sometimes dark sometimes bright. =)